Thanksgiving With Big Kids!

11/28/04

Dear Diary,

I wish every week was like Thanksgiving! I had so much fun this weekend that I totally don't want to go back to school on Monday. I told my mom and dad that I was sick of having Thanksgiving Chinese style where we eat Peking Roast Duck instead of Turkey, braised cabbage instead of creamed spinach, fried rice instead of stuffing, and rice cake instead of pumpkin pie. At first they were like, totally angry with me. They said something about me being a Twinkie but I'm not a soft yellow cake with a creamy white filling. They're getting senile or something, I swear. Their seniliciousness allowed me to sneak out to play with the big kids all weekend!

On Thursday, I was invited to play in the big kids' Thanksgiving Day Flag Football game. These kids were big and old, like in their 30's and stuff. And they're like big, in the big sense, sort of like Andre the Giant. Tammy was there, she played with the boys. And so was Josh (he played Phil in READAPTATION [http://www.splitid.com/_wsn/page5.html]). On the first play of the game, they ran a play to me - an "Out Pattern" - and I totally fell. I was sooooo embarassed. And they kept running plays to me because they thought I was like speedy and stuff and since I was so embarassed about falling, I couldn't catch anything. They were all laughing at me. That was pretty sucky.

But then, I caught a pass! It was rad, sort of like Josh playing the part of Joe Montana and me playing the part of Dwight Clark in the "The Catch" (http://www.travel-watch.com/thecatch.htm). It was so much like that that I thought I was in the end zone. Little did I know, I was still ten-yards away. And when I started to do my celebration dance (which by the way, is the choreography from Britney's "Baby One More Time" video that I learned especially for a moment like this) some poopy dude from the other team ran by me and grabbed my flag.

Then, on defense, this one dude - he was big. His name was Craig, I think. He concussed me on a block. I was trying to like defend a little screen pass (I know that because I play a lot of Madden 2005 on my XBox) and when I looked up, this giant dude was running and knocked the hell out of me. Seriously, he like threw me 10-yards or something. I'm like 14! He's at least 35. Asshole.

I was laying on the ground when I thought, "Dude, I just got jacked up"; Josh was giving me mouth to mouth when I thought, "Ewwwww, bad breath"; and Tammy was putting good pressure on the opposing quarterback when I thought, "She's dreamy. She's bigger than me. How come Craig doesn't hit her like he hit me. I would totally give her mouth to mouth, even though I don't know CPR."

Good times.

Thanksgiving was fun too. Since it was my first real, like pilgrim Thanksgiving, I told all my friends that I wanted make the Turkey. The culinary club at my high school, of which, I am the president, had prepared me well to make a Apple and Maple Glazed Turkey with Sage, Thyme, and Bacon. It was yummy in the tummy. I think I ate too much though. As Chris said, "It was a gastronomical success." I'm not sure if he meant to say that it was an astronomical success or that it was successful in giving him gas but whatever - he seemed satisfied with the whole to-do.

On Friday, I watched Freaky Friday. And on Saturday, I worked on my final project for A/V Club with Helen (www.doubledogmusic.com), the super cool composer for my little movie.

At night, the big kids took to me out, hella late, like 11:00 PM to see a totally rad singer/songwriter in a club in Hollywood. She sort of looked like a classy Britney with a hella good voice and her songs were all like "bluesey" and "jazzy" and stuff. She sings about stuff that I don't really know anything about but they made me feel funny, sort of like the first time I saw Heather Locklear in a bikini: like, I don't really know what's happening inside, but it's all pretty good. I was nursing a Shirley Temple, though - maybe that had something to do with it. Her name is Laura Burhenn (www.lauraburhenn.com) and she's based in D.C. If you ever get a chance to see her, Diary, you should totally go.

God, Diary, I can't wait to grow up so every weekend can be like this!

Giving thanks,
David