March 25, 2005
Dear Diary.
I know I've been hating in my last few entries but I don't always hate, sometimes I...uh... masticate. Regulate? Figure skate? Conjugate, congregate, ovulate...?
Whatever - anyway, I saw the coolest movie last night, Diary! It was a special sneak preview of Stephen Chow's Kung-Fu Hustle on the Sony lot and boy, was it gooood.
First, let's forget about the fact that Stephen Chow is dreamy (so dreamy that I am working through all of his movies and currently, I'm in the dregs and yet I still don't care), that there is no "hustle" in the sense of a "hustler" or "the hustle" as in the dance, so I don't really know why they couldn't just go with the original Chinese name Kung-Fu because there IS plenty of that, and that it drags a little towards the end (whew, if that's not a run-on sentence, it should be. I'm not sure because I'm going to public school!).
Yeah, forget that stuff. Because if you don't, you'd miss quite possibly, the most funny, outrageous, absurd, insane, sweet...just plain fun movie you'll see this year.
Kung-Fu Hustle follows in the loose form of Chow's major works (King of Comedy, God of Cookery, or Shaolin Soccer) where a loser wishes to be something more, tries in vain to be that thing, and then finds his nobler self by being what he truly is, often times aided by Shaolin monks or Buddha (G.O.C. being the most notable exception where the journey is inverted).
Chow's social commentary hasn't changed much throughout the years: goodness and purity can only be found in poverty (where the downtrodden also must make and sell food), while fame and riches are pathways to corruption, however, this time out he's added more "American tasting" themes as seen in the recent hits, The Incredibles and Spiderman, and The Matrix from a few years back.
And his humor has certainly risen from the lowbrow to the middlebrow with no ill effect (the style is still Cantonese, it just doesn't have all of the dick jokes). For example, the liberal sprinklings of polk-gai (there is one moment, early on, where a character's delivery of polk-gai almost made me pee my pants) make up for that one moment in King of Comedy that made all of us feel dirty for laughing so goddamn hard.
If you happen to live in San Francisco, Boston, Dallas, or Chicago take this link and sign up for a free screening. Otherwise, if you live in LA and NY, you can pay to see it on 4/8. If you live anywhere else you gotta wait until 4/22 or even later if you're in the stix.
Kung-fu fighting,
David
Friday, March 25, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Do you smell cat pee?
March 24, 2005
Dear Diary,
No, I don't smell cat pee.
And maybe, Diary, that's ultimately the reason why our A/V project didn't get into Tribeca. Forget WKW, his daddy named Mary, and 2046. Forget Robert De Niro and his voodoo hex he put on us.
Thanks to my hometown paper, I have come to accept that the real reason we didn't get into the Tribeca film festival: lack of Cat Pee. And how I, in my infinite stupidity, made a movie about wine and did not include any references to cat pee, wet dog, mouse droppings, or bacon in the script. It's not like I didn't have a chance - the script was written and then voice-overs written a year later.
Not. One. Reference.
Cat pee.
I bet that bitch ass Alexander Payne has cat pee all up in his movie. Cat pee AND that guy. Alex, that's the luxury you have when you're the second wine movie that went into production in 2003/2004. You get to find out about cat pee. You see, we were Deep Impact to your Armageddon; We're Dante's Peak are you're Volcano. Dammit! I like totally forgot: first is the worst, second is the best -
That's it: I'm making ANOTHER movie about wine which would make me third and thus the blue bird sitting in the nest.
Here kitty, kitty,
David
Dear Diary,
No, I don't smell cat pee.
And maybe, Diary, that's ultimately the reason why our A/V project didn't get into Tribeca. Forget WKW, his daddy named Mary, and 2046. Forget Robert De Niro and his voodoo hex he put on us.
Thanks to my hometown paper, I have come to accept that the real reason we didn't get into the Tribeca film festival: lack of Cat Pee. And how I, in my infinite stupidity, made a movie about wine and did not include any references to cat pee, wet dog, mouse droppings, or bacon in the script. It's not like I didn't have a chance - the script was written and then voice-overs written a year later.
Not. One. Reference.
Cat pee.
I bet that bitch ass Alexander Payne has cat pee all up in his movie. Cat pee AND that guy. Alex, that's the luxury you have when you're the second wine movie that went into production in 2003/2004. You get to find out about cat pee. You see, we were Deep Impact to your Armageddon; We're Dante's Peak are you're Volcano. Dammit! I like totally forgot: first is the worst, second is the best -
That's it: I'm making ANOTHER movie about wine which would make me third and thus the blue bird sitting in the nest.
Here kitty, kitty,
David
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
WKW: Yo' mama name is Roscoe
March 23, 2005
Dear Diary,
What an exhausting week!
The student council hearings about off-campus lunches and that dumb Chris Paul not punching people in the nads when it really counts, thus making my winning NCAA bracket go to pot.
Now this. Apparently, Sony Pictures Classics has aquired North American rights to dreamy Wong Kar-Wai's 2046. But that's just window dressing. The part that caught my eye is that it will have its US premiere at the Tribec-kaka film festival.
You know what's not having its North American premiere at Tribec-kaka?
That's right, Diary! Our film!
But I get it, though. Bobby D couldn't possibly have programmed two poetically lyrical, voice-over heavy films into his festival.
For example: if The New World had been entered, instead of our film, Bobby D would have had to make a choice between The New World and 2046 to represent the "heavily voice-overed" film of the festival (not that I've seen New World but I'm just guessing that drunky Colin Farrell is going to be "thinking" a lot about the Indians and Thanksgiving).
So I get it. Bobby D, my anger has been misdirected at you. I crossed out all the "Tribeckaka Poop Festival eats...kaka" references in my burn book.
Wong Kar-Wai: it was YOU who punched me in the nads!
But WKW, because of this, I'll forgive you.
Just consider yourself warned. I have gained Player Hater Ball points and am drunk on the Haterade - you're getting awful close to the burn book.
Hatingly,
David
Dear Diary,
What an exhausting week!
The student council hearings about off-campus lunches and that dumb Chris Paul not punching people in the nads when it really counts, thus making my winning NCAA bracket go to pot.
Now this. Apparently, Sony Pictures Classics has aquired North American rights to dreamy Wong Kar-Wai's 2046. But that's just window dressing. The part that caught my eye is that it will have its US premiere at the Tribec-kaka film festival.
You know what's not having its North American premiere at Tribec-kaka?
That's right, Diary! Our film!
But I get it, though. Bobby D couldn't possibly have programmed two poetically lyrical, voice-over heavy films into his festival.
For example: if The New World had been entered, instead of our film, Bobby D would have had to make a choice between The New World and 2046 to represent the "heavily voice-overed" film of the festival (not that I've seen New World but I'm just guessing that drunky Colin Farrell is going to be "thinking" a lot about the Indians and Thanksgiving).
So I get it. Bobby D, my anger has been misdirected at you. I crossed out all the "Tribeckaka Poop Festival eats...kaka" references in my burn book.
Wong Kar-Wai: it was YOU who punched me in the nads!
But WKW, because of this, I'll forgive you.
Just consider yourself warned. I have gained Player Hater Ball points and am drunk on the Haterade - you're getting awful close to the burn book.
Hatingly,
David
Friday, March 18, 2005
Student Council Hearings
March 18, 2005
Dear Diary,
I was "subpeonaed" today to testify in the special student council hearings on eating lunch off campus, the hot new scandal at school. It hasn't exactly been against the rules to go off campus for lunch, but it's been one of those implicit agreements, or something like that but mysteriously, over the last few years, around lunch time, there have been less and less kids eating lunch at school. Personally, I thought it was The Mothman Prophecies, but the word on the street was that kids were leaving in droves to eat lunch off campus.
*gasp*
Have I? Well, Diary, I can't tell you, because I might be incriminating myself, but this is what I told them. I said, "I have never eaten lunch off campus, nor do I know anyone who has ever left the campus to eat lunch, not even at Whole Foods when they have the Organic Meatloaf. And hell no, I would not rat on my friends." I also told them that Mike Mertula might not have given me my burning bush.
Diary, why does the Student Council care so much? Don't they have bigger things to worry about? Like how our student body president is trying to steal other school's mascots and install ours? Or how about the school bully beating up on my arty friends? Or that the poor kids don't even have enough money to eat lunch at school? Student council says that eating lunch off campus could kill us and that it's a school wide epidemic. You know what's a school wide epidemic? Smoking.
Who cares about off campus lunches?
By the way, I came home and watched the steroid hearings last night. MSNBC replayed it at night, apparently taking a cue from their sister station NBC, "If you haven't seen it, it's new to you." Here are my thoughts:
You know who I feel bad for in all of this? Ozzie Canseco. He's like, almost identical to Jose and he roided himself and still couldn't play or almost sleep with Madonna. This brings up yet another GI Joe existential dilemma: if Tomax injected himself with steroids, would Xamot get big?
Who deflated Mark McGwire?
When did Sammy Sosa forget how to speak English?
Rafael Palmeiro's acting coach needs to be fired. I don't care if 50's matinee idols never used steroids. The look only works for Senator Richard Alarcon. Plus the finger pointing? Raffy, give me a break. This all goes to yet once again confirm that Will Clark was the better 1st baseman from the 1984 Olympic team.
Anyway, the student council hearings are continuing. I will keep you posted.
Organic Meatloaf...mmm...,
David
Dear Diary,
I was "subpeonaed" today to testify in the special student council hearings on eating lunch off campus, the hot new scandal at school. It hasn't exactly been against the rules to go off campus for lunch, but it's been one of those implicit agreements, or something like that but mysteriously, over the last few years, around lunch time, there have been less and less kids eating lunch at school. Personally, I thought it was The Mothman Prophecies, but the word on the street was that kids were leaving in droves to eat lunch off campus.
*gasp*
Have I? Well, Diary, I can't tell you, because I might be incriminating myself, but this is what I told them. I said, "I have never eaten lunch off campus, nor do I know anyone who has ever left the campus to eat lunch, not even at Whole Foods when they have the Organic Meatloaf. And hell no, I would not rat on my friends." I also told them that Mike Mertula might not have given me my burning bush.
Diary, why does the Student Council care so much? Don't they have bigger things to worry about? Like how our student body president is trying to steal other school's mascots and install ours? Or how about the school bully beating up on my arty friends? Or that the poor kids don't even have enough money to eat lunch at school? Student council says that eating lunch off campus could kill us and that it's a school wide epidemic. You know what's a school wide epidemic? Smoking.
Who cares about off campus lunches?
By the way, I came home and watched the steroid hearings last night. MSNBC replayed it at night, apparently taking a cue from their sister station NBC, "If you haven't seen it, it's new to you." Here are my thoughts:
You know who I feel bad for in all of this? Ozzie Canseco. He's like, almost identical to Jose and he roided himself and still couldn't play or almost sleep with Madonna. This brings up yet another GI Joe existential dilemma: if Tomax injected himself with steroids, would Xamot get big?
Who deflated Mark McGwire?
When did Sammy Sosa forget how to speak English?
Rafael Palmeiro's acting coach needs to be fired. I don't care if 50's matinee idols never used steroids. The look only works for Senator Richard Alarcon. Plus the finger pointing? Raffy, give me a break. This all goes to yet once again confirm that Will Clark was the better 1st baseman from the 1984 Olympic team.
Anyway, the student council hearings are continuing. I will keep you posted.
Organic Meatloaf...mmm...,
David
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Demon Deacons Are Scary!
March 17th, 2005
Dear Diary,
Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm so totally decked out in green because I don't want those icky boys (Mike Mertula, you smell like cornchips or athlete's foot) all up in my bizness pinching me and stuff. I keep hearing about people wanting to drink the Guinness today.
"Brilliant!" they yell.
You know what I say? "Like, that's soooo stupid!"
How are you supposed to drink a book? And what does that have anything to do with lucky charms, little magical leprechauns, and the luck o'd'Irish? I hear paper mills stink. You don't want that stuff in your system and I don't care how many anti-oxidants this "Guinness" has.
Today is also the beginning of March Madness, when everybody goes crazy for the big basketball tournament. I filled out my bracket (with my lucky green Kogepan pen) and turned it in just before the tip off of the first game this morning. I picked Wake Forest to win it all and I am right because:
1) I won last year.
2) Demon Deacons are scaaaaary. Empire-ically, or something. I mean, not only are they already demons, they are also deacons.
3) Their star point guard, Chris Paul thinks like me and therefore, is obviously a genius. I had just been rejected from the boys basketball team tryouts for like the zillionth time - something about me being a girl or playing like a girl, I was so agitated, I wasn't really listening - and I was at home in my Zarko Cabarkapa jersey, all bummed out and watching that stupid movie BASEketball when I thought how a 15-year-old like me can spice up the game of basketball. And I swear, diary, when it came to me, it was like Moses and the burning bush.
My burning bush said, "what Basketball needs a 6th person on the court - a nut kicker."
Genius.
It would be the great equalizer. You think Kobe's so smooth and his beef is so tender? Tell me what happens after it get kicked a few times. You think Big Aristotle is so unstoppable? Kick him in his little Aristotles. Iverson acting a fool with his gats? Kick him in the nads.
Both teams have nut kickers. Nut kickers can get their nuts kicked, but only by the other team's nut kickers. They cannot touch the ball (the one in play). Their sole purpose is to kick or not kick other people in the nuts. You see the strategy developing?
And Title IX? Screw it. You can kick that in the nuts too - hell yeah, girls can play. Tell me right now, Diary, that Mia Hamm wouldn't be the best nut kicker in the game. She'd be positively Bondsian.
Chris Paul must have brain wave stealing skills or something. It must have been that night that I went to sleep without putting my tin foil hat on - the next morning, I read that he had punched Julius Hodge in the nuts. Are you kidding me?
Ah crap! Chris Paul must be an alien too, leading me to #4 on my list of why the Demon Deacons will win the NCAA tournament...
4) Chris Paul might be an alien.
I feel it.
In my bathing suit area.
A revolution is in sports is afoot.
David Stern, where u at?
Protecting my ovaries,
David
PS: Bobby De Niro, our rift is forever now! You suck eggs for not coming to closing weekend of Overflow!
Dear Diary,
Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm so totally decked out in green because I don't want those icky boys (Mike Mertula, you smell like cornchips or athlete's foot) all up in my bizness pinching me and stuff. I keep hearing about people wanting to drink the Guinness today.
"Brilliant!" they yell.
You know what I say? "Like, that's soooo stupid!"
How are you supposed to drink a book? And what does that have anything to do with lucky charms, little magical leprechauns, and the luck o'd'Irish? I hear paper mills stink. You don't want that stuff in your system and I don't care how many anti-oxidants this "Guinness" has.
Today is also the beginning of March Madness, when everybody goes crazy for the big basketball tournament. I filled out my bracket (with my lucky green Kogepan pen) and turned it in just before the tip off of the first game this morning. I picked Wake Forest to win it all and I am right because:
1) I won last year.
2) Demon Deacons are scaaaaary. Empire-ically, or something. I mean, not only are they already demons, they are also deacons.
3) Their star point guard, Chris Paul thinks like me and therefore, is obviously a genius. I had just been rejected from the boys basketball team tryouts for like the zillionth time - something about me being a girl or playing like a girl, I was so agitated, I wasn't really listening - and I was at home in my Zarko Cabarkapa jersey, all bummed out and watching that stupid movie BASEketball when I thought how a 15-year-old like me can spice up the game of basketball. And I swear, diary, when it came to me, it was like Moses and the burning bush.
My burning bush said, "what Basketball needs a 6th person on the court - a nut kicker."
Genius.
It would be the great equalizer. You think Kobe's so smooth and his beef is so tender? Tell me what happens after it get kicked a few times. You think Big Aristotle is so unstoppable? Kick him in his little Aristotles. Iverson acting a fool with his gats? Kick him in the nads.
Both teams have nut kickers. Nut kickers can get their nuts kicked, but only by the other team's nut kickers. They cannot touch the ball (the one in play). Their sole purpose is to kick or not kick other people in the nuts. You see the strategy developing?
And Title IX? Screw it. You can kick that in the nuts too - hell yeah, girls can play. Tell me right now, Diary, that Mia Hamm wouldn't be the best nut kicker in the game. She'd be positively Bondsian.
Chris Paul must have brain wave stealing skills or something. It must have been that night that I went to sleep without putting my tin foil hat on - the next morning, I read that he had punched Julius Hodge in the nuts. Are you kidding me?
Ah crap! Chris Paul must be an alien too, leading me to #4 on my list of why the Demon Deacons will win the NCAA tournament...
4) Chris Paul might be an alien.
I feel it.
In my bathing suit area.
A revolution is in sports is afoot.
David Stern, where u at?
Protecting my ovaries,
David
PS: Bobby De Niro, our rift is forever now! You suck eggs for not coming to closing weekend of Overflow!
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
He's Just Living Up To His Namesake...
March 9, 2005
Dear Diary,
I hate Robert De Niro.
Yes, Bobby, I’m talkin’ to you.
There ain’t no one else here, so I must be talkin’ to you.
I hate your stupid Amex commercial directed by your no Oscar having best friend that cross promotes “your city, your card,” and “your poopy film festival that doesn’t want MY FILM to screen in the Triangle Below Canal.”
You think I’m mad? Honky puhleeze…I’m sooo over triangles.
Dodecahedrons are obviously the new triangles. Considering that you live in YOUR CITY with YOUR CARD, I’m surprised you didn’t know that. That, and your little neighborhood film festival in Manhattan is no dodecahedron. It is only a triangle and A-squared + B-squared = C-squared is so passé.
Okay, maybe I’m a little miffed but only because in all of my fifteen years of honing my cinematic critical skills, it is in my humble opinion that The Marriage of Charlie Johnson is better (that is, has a little something more to say) than Godsend, City by the Sea, and much better than The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
I know you may hold grudges as we “offered” the role of Jay to you (in our minds) but you scoffed at us (in our minds) and our insistence that you forgo your $20 million salary requirement. We said, “the movie is only going to cost $10,000.” You said, “[That noise you made in This Boy’s Life and The Fan].”
Mr. De Niro, the only way that you are going to get back on my Christmas list is if you come to see the closing weekend of Overflow, the play that Justina Walford wrote and that I directed. It’s only got four more performances – this Thursday thru. Saturday at 8 PM and Sunday at 3 PM.
Considering your recent run of paycheck roles and that dumb commercial, I’m guessing that times are pretty rough for you. That’s okay, Bob, because here’s a link that will get you half-priced tickets. If you don't want to hassle with the brief sign up, try this one (you’ll have to enter promo code 008 to get your discount) - you can even use YOUR CARD to pay for YOUR DISCOUNT TICKETS.
Didja get that? Cool, then I’ll see you this weekend, Mr. De Niro. I totally forgive you for not taking my film and don't worry, the next film I make, you’re still my first call for SAG scale. But only if you come this weekend! If not, I may have to continue trying to gain hater points for acceptance into the Player Hater's Ball.
Kisses,
David
Dear Diary,
I hate Robert De Niro.
Yes, Bobby, I’m talkin’ to you.
There ain’t no one else here, so I must be talkin’ to you.
I hate your stupid Amex commercial directed by your no Oscar having best friend that cross promotes “your city, your card,” and “your poopy film festival that doesn’t want MY FILM to screen in the Triangle Below Canal.”
You think I’m mad? Honky puhleeze…I’m sooo over triangles.
Dodecahedrons are obviously the new triangles. Considering that you live in YOUR CITY with YOUR CARD, I’m surprised you didn’t know that. That, and your little neighborhood film festival in Manhattan is no dodecahedron. It is only a triangle and A-squared + B-squared = C-squared is so passé.
Okay, maybe I’m a little miffed but only because in all of my fifteen years of honing my cinematic critical skills, it is in my humble opinion that The Marriage of Charlie Johnson is better (that is, has a little something more to say) than Godsend, City by the Sea, and much better than The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
I know you may hold grudges as we “offered” the role of Jay to you (in our minds) but you scoffed at us (in our minds) and our insistence that you forgo your $20 million salary requirement. We said, “the movie is only going to cost $10,000.” You said, “[That noise you made in This Boy’s Life and The Fan].”
Mr. De Niro, the only way that you are going to get back on my Christmas list is if you come to see the closing weekend of Overflow, the play that Justina Walford wrote and that I directed. It’s only got four more performances – this Thursday thru. Saturday at 8 PM and Sunday at 3 PM.
Considering your recent run of paycheck roles and that dumb commercial, I’m guessing that times are pretty rough for you. That’s okay, Bob, because here’s a link that will get you half-priced tickets. If you don't want to hassle with the brief sign up, try this one (you’ll have to enter promo code 008 to get your discount) - you can even use YOUR CARD to pay for YOUR DISCOUNT TICKETS.
Didja get that? Cool, then I’ll see you this weekend, Mr. De Niro. I totally forgive you for not taking my film and don't worry, the next film I make, you’re still my first call for SAG scale. But only if you come this weekend! If not, I may have to continue trying to gain hater points for acceptance into the Player Hater's Ball.
Kisses,
David
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
President's Day Rocks!
2/23/05
Dear Diary,
President's Day rocks so hard, it makes me want to cry. Just think about it for a second, diary - our Founding Fathers had the foresight to be born a week after Valentine's Day, a day of such suckitude (read: sucks so hard) that I stayed at home in my pajamas eating the grody chocolate that dorksquad leader Jimmy Johnson gave me with the stupid X-tina valentine that said she wanted to get drrrrty with me - how gross! How...lesbionic!
Anyway, the fact that the day to celebrate our presidents is just a simple week later makes me believe even more that National Treasure is actually based on a true story. Dude, it totally is. I was rockin' so hard on my President's week celebration, I was even on The West Wing location today chilaxin' with a pretend president.
Speaking of sucking eggs and stuff, Diary, I'm curious why so many of my friends haven't come to see Overflow, the new play that I directed. Not only is it beautifully written by Justina Walford and gracefully directed by me, it's got hot girls in it - the critics even say so.
And - for all of those who loved ReAdaptation, it explicates the Justina Walford character...well...almost completely. So, really, Overflow is to ReAdaptation what Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is to Hamlet, except Justina is a real person. Or is she? Is she an amalgam of 5 people? Hmmm...
I hope my friends are just waiting for their calendars to open up to come see the show and it's not because they are chea...poor. It would break my tiny little heart if my friends wanted to come but could not pay the full ticket price. If it is because they are financially challenged they can get 1/2 price tickets here. I'm totally financially challenged - my poopy parents only give me an allowance of $5.00 a week - hardly enough to even go on a date, which is another reason why Valentine's Day sucked so hard.
And I hope they don't give me any lip about the poopscars this weekend - poopy drama club awards - how terribly "clishay" (I don't even know what that word means but it sounds so good). I tuned out when National Treasure wasn't nominated for anything. Now on to making voodoo dolls so that next year Tony Jaa will get nominated for being the dreamiest Thai Warrior ever.
Giggles,
David
Dear Diary,
President's Day rocks so hard, it makes me want to cry. Just think about it for a second, diary - our Founding Fathers had the foresight to be born a week after Valentine's Day, a day of such suckitude (read: sucks so hard) that I stayed at home in my pajamas eating the grody chocolate that dorksquad leader Jimmy Johnson gave me with the stupid X-tina valentine that said she wanted to get drrrrty with me - how gross! How...lesbionic!
Anyway, the fact that the day to celebrate our presidents is just a simple week later makes me believe even more that National Treasure is actually based on a true story. Dude, it totally is. I was rockin' so hard on my President's week celebration, I was even on The West Wing location today chilaxin' with a pretend president.
Speaking of sucking eggs and stuff, Diary, I'm curious why so many of my friends haven't come to see Overflow, the new play that I directed. Not only is it beautifully written by Justina Walford and gracefully directed by me, it's got hot girls in it - the critics even say so.
And - for all of those who loved ReAdaptation, it explicates the Justina Walford character...well...almost completely. So, really, Overflow is to ReAdaptation what Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is to Hamlet, except Justina is a real person. Or is she? Is she an amalgam of 5 people? Hmmm...
I hope my friends are just waiting for their calendars to open up to come see the show and it's not because they are chea...poor. It would break my tiny little heart if my friends wanted to come but could not pay the full ticket price. If it is because they are financially challenged they can get 1/2 price tickets here. I'm totally financially challenged - my poopy parents only give me an allowance of $5.00 a week - hardly enough to even go on a date, which is another reason why Valentine's Day sucked so hard.
And I hope they don't give me any lip about the poopscars this weekend - poopy drama club awards - how terribly "clishay" (I don't even know what that word means but it sounds so good). I tuned out when National Treasure wasn't nominated for anything. Now on to making voodoo dolls so that next year Tony Jaa will get nominated for being the dreamiest Thai Warrior ever.
Giggles,
David
Monday, February 07, 2005
Catching up, Interlude:: OVERFLOW
February 7. 2005
Dear Diary,
The excuse must really be wearing thin, huh diary - how busy I am. I know and I apologize, diary, it's just that - I mean, all you have to do is lay there underneath my bed, all locked up, but I have stuff to do. For the past few weeks since returning from vacation, I've been directing this new play called Overflow. It's written by Justina Walford, the president of my school's drama club, it stars six dreamy half-Asian, half-something women, and it just opened last weekend. It'll be playing Thurs. to Sat. @ 8 PM and Sun. @ 3 PM at The Hudson Theatre. Mike Durst, our award-winning lighting designer, he's so handy with the ellipsoidals and stuff. He's even been nominated for an Ovation award! I hope my all my friends can come to see the show!
Diary, you must hate me because I'm not writing about what happened during vacation in San Francisco and Wisconsin after we had the screening, but I don't want to take away from the above, so for now, diary, this is all you're going to get:
San Francisco: There ARE a million ways to make shrimp and Chinese people are so weird!
Wisconsin: You really CAN walk on water and White people are so funny!
And Diary, no - I have nothing to say about the Superbowl - New England...so passe - winning everything except popularity contests. If they're so cool, they must think the Bruins are going to win the Stanley Cup...whooops. Yeah, Diary, I have nothing to say except that not-so-dreamy Tom Brady did not win his 3rd Superbowl MVP trophy, thus, not tying him with dreamy Joe Montana as the only quarterback in the history of the game to have done so and dreamy and smart Steve Young - Hall of Fame. As for the actual game, whatevz - I lost interest when the 49ers lost out on the wild card. "Tomorrow, tomorrow...is only a day - a-way!!"
Kisses for a Happy Chinese New Year, Diary!
David
Dear Diary,
The excuse must really be wearing thin, huh diary - how busy I am. I know and I apologize, diary, it's just that - I mean, all you have to do is lay there underneath my bed, all locked up, but I have stuff to do. For the past few weeks since returning from vacation, I've been directing this new play called Overflow. It's written by Justina Walford, the president of my school's drama club, it stars six dreamy half-Asian, half-something women, and it just opened last weekend. It'll be playing Thurs. to Sat. @ 8 PM and Sun. @ 3 PM at The Hudson Theatre. Mike Durst, our award-winning lighting designer, he's so handy with the ellipsoidals and stuff. He's even been nominated for an Ovation award! I hope my all my friends can come to see the show!
Diary, you must hate me because I'm not writing about what happened during vacation in San Francisco and Wisconsin after we had the screening, but I don't want to take away from the above, so for now, diary, this is all you're going to get:
San Francisco: There ARE a million ways to make shrimp and Chinese people are so weird!
Wisconsin: You really CAN walk on water and White people are so funny!
And Diary, no - I have nothing to say about the Superbowl - New England...so passe - winning everything except popularity contests. If they're so cool, they must think the Bruins are going to win the Stanley Cup...whooops. Yeah, Diary, I have nothing to say except that not-so-dreamy Tom Brady did not win his 3rd Superbowl MVP trophy, thus, not tying him with dreamy Joe Montana as the only quarterback in the history of the game to have done so and dreamy and smart Steve Young - Hall of Fame. As for the actual game, whatevz - I lost interest when the 49ers lost out on the wild card. "Tomorrow, tomorrow...is only a day - a-way!!"
Kisses for a Happy Chinese New Year, Diary!
David
Friday, January 21, 2005
Catching up, Part 1: The Screening
January 21, 2005
Happy New Year Diary!
I'm sooo sorry that I haven't written in 2 whole months, since the Thanksgiving with the Big Kids, but boy has it been bizzzeee - so busy that I've barely had time to think. I'm totally glad I'm not going to that stupid high school A/V Clubs Conference that's going on for the next few weeks because now, I have time to write!!
Like I was saying, it's been totally nuts: In December, I had to finish The Marriage of Charlie Johnson for my school's A/V club screening. It totally crazy like a day or two before, like I totally didn't sleep for like three days or something, and then, like right before we had to leave for the screening, I noticed a two frame artifact in a dissolve so I had to reedit the whole sequence and make a new DVD! My mom was yelling at me to get in the car to go to the theater while my trusty little 'puter was making the new DVD. Doesn't she undertstand that this is my life??!! She says that I have OCD, whatever that means. Whatever...my mom just doesn't understand.
My OCD was okay because we totally got there since my dad knows all the shortcuts and he is, after all, a driver who is also Chinese. I totally felt like Jimmy Fallon in that movie where he's all like screaming and stuff and Queen Latifah is driving like my dad. I wish I was all grown up and was hired to direct that movie. I could have totally done it. I mean, with actors like Jimmy Fallon, Queen Latifah, and Gisele...? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't even have to like work or anything. They're like Oscar caliber and stuff! (as a side note, do you find the it weird, diary that none of those three got nominated for the Golden Globes? Hollywood Foreign Press - feh - foreigners. This is the biggest travesty since Vanilla Ice being snubbed for his performances in Cool as Ice and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II).
The screening went well, even though I had to throw up a few times. Right after the screening, we shipped it off to this other A/V Club Conference because we think this one is much cooler than the one happening now; the one in New York is like totally punk rock and the one happening now in Utah is sooooo passe. Who wants to spend time in Utah? You can't do nothing but go skiing and who the hell wants to go skiing? The one time MacGuyver went skiing, he almost died and Diary, if MacGuyver almost died, we would totally bite it, like five times over. More later, but for now, since I am not in Utah, I can totally say, "Johnny-Five, Alive!"
Diary, it's so good to catch up with you!
David
Happy New Year Diary!
I'm sooo sorry that I haven't written in 2 whole months, since the Thanksgiving with the Big Kids, but boy has it been bizzzeee - so busy that I've barely had time to think. I'm totally glad I'm not going to that stupid high school A/V Clubs Conference that's going on for the next few weeks because now, I have time to write!!
Like I was saying, it's been totally nuts: In December, I had to finish The Marriage of Charlie Johnson for my school's A/V club screening. It totally crazy like a day or two before, like I totally didn't sleep for like three days or something, and then, like right before we had to leave for the screening, I noticed a two frame artifact in a dissolve so I had to reedit the whole sequence and make a new DVD! My mom was yelling at me to get in the car to go to the theater while my trusty little 'puter was making the new DVD. Doesn't she undertstand that this is my life??!! She says that I have OCD, whatever that means. Whatever...my mom just doesn't understand.
My OCD was okay because we totally got there since my dad knows all the shortcuts and he is, after all, a driver who is also Chinese. I totally felt like Jimmy Fallon in that movie where he's all like screaming and stuff and Queen Latifah is driving like my dad. I wish I was all grown up and was hired to direct that movie. I could have totally done it. I mean, with actors like Jimmy Fallon, Queen Latifah, and Gisele...? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't even have to like work or anything. They're like Oscar caliber and stuff! (as a side note, do you find the it weird, diary that none of those three got nominated for the Golden Globes? Hollywood Foreign Press - feh - foreigners. This is the biggest travesty since Vanilla Ice being snubbed for his performances in Cool as Ice and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II).
The screening went well, even though I had to throw up a few times. Right after the screening, we shipped it off to this other A/V Club Conference because we think this one is much cooler than the one happening now; the one in New York is like totally punk rock and the one happening now in Utah is sooooo passe. Who wants to spend time in Utah? You can't do nothing but go skiing and who the hell wants to go skiing? The one time MacGuyver went skiing, he almost died and Diary, if MacGuyver almost died, we would totally bite it, like five times over. More later, but for now, since I am not in Utah, I can totally say, "Johnny-Five, Alive!"
Diary, it's so good to catch up with you!
David
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