Popularity Contest!!

10/7/04

Dear Diary,

Now that my birthday is done with, I can start focusing on more important things - like the big popularity contest that's coming up in November! Now since I don't own a Trapper Keeper, I can't be as cool or popular as that bitch Claire Richards, but as cool as she may be, she can't hold a candle to the John Johns or Monkey Boy and Darth Cheney who are running against each other to be president and vice-president of the school.

At the last debate in the cafeteria, Darth sorta said to John Edwards: "John, I AM YOUR FATHER" - scary. Darth Cheney sort of reminds me of an ogre but not like a cute one like Shrek. John Edwards, on the other hand, is dreamy!

Anyway, since I am nervous about getting into a good college (and since I saw Rushmore), I'm like joining every club I can. In addition to the theatre club, the cooking club, the crochet club, the get along gang, the care bear carers, the most recent club I joined is the Jewish club on campus and on my first day, they elected me to be the voice of their voter registration project. They don't have Trapper Keepers either or even cool stickers like I do. Actually, I think that's why they let someone Chinese like I am join. It's totally about the stickers.

Anyway, if anyone needs to register to vote for the popularity contest, they can call 323-761-8242 to listen to me tell them how to register - it's fast and easy and even if their moms and dads have the internet on parental controls, they can't lock down the online voter registration because that would mean that they were...oh, I learned this in civics class yesterday - "disenfranchising" or something like that. I 'm not sure what disen' franchises like McDonald's, KFC, and Jack in the Box, has anything to do with voter registration and popularity contests but I'm only 10 years old so what the hell do I know? I mean, why would you want to dis them? They make yummy food!

But yummy in the tummy isn't the point: the deadline to register is October 18th and it's important that people register because I hear that Monkey Boy and Darth Cheney are trying to suppress the vote like they did a few years ago. More important, of course, is to vote on November 2nd. Even more important is my friends spreading the word to their friends who may not be registered and who don't live in our neighborhood, especially if they have friends who live in neighborhoods like Ohio, Florida, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and other swinging places. I'm not old enough but if I was, I totally would have moved to the Wisconsin neighborhood to vote. Like totally. I even tried but my mom wouldn't let me. She said I wouldn't be able to take care of myself. whatEVER!!!

Not to spell out my own leanings in the popularity, but Monkey Boy and Darth Cheney can eat it for all I care. I mean they won once and stuff. They should totally share the popularity.

Love,
David